Celebrity Blogger Fantasy Premiership

August 6 - 2007

If you want to be the best, you’ve got to play against the best.  And when the best isn’t available, kicking some blogger-ass can at least build your confidence.

The Celebrity Blogger Fantasy Premiership is your chance to pit your skills against the interweb’s finest football scribes (who returned my email).  Register a team at Premierleague.com, click on “My Leagues”, and enter this code: 397684-77023. First prize?  We’ll name next year’s league after you and you can have free run of Soccernista.com for one day.  Share your masters thesis on why the 3-5-2 went extinct.  Write “In your face!” with 48 font.  Publish a Penthouse-letters-style account of your run-in with Andriy Schevchenko’s wife.  I could care less.

But first you have to top the table, and that means besting the following collection of ”celebrities”:

Blog name:  Dave’s Football Blog

Team name:  Off Constantly

My fantasy league strategy can be summarized thus:  Pick names that I recognize, even if they’re not so hot. If they pan out later, I can call them “value picks.”

The player I had to have was: Clint Dempsey. Having him in the midfield helped me afford Christiano Ronaldo.

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be: a Coca-Cola Championship manager by mid-April.

Blog name: Being Sven

Team name: Clash City FC

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus:Build a squad primarily of reliable medium-to-high points talliers, included with a couple up-and-comers from riskier clubs or who teams I believe to be on the rise. Defense wins championships. This year, though, I did splurge on the ultra-expensive & hopefully high scorer C Ronaldo.

The player I had to have was:I learned a long time ago that I can’t afford to play favorites in this game. (Otherwise, I’d never have bought Ronaldo) That said, I wish I could have packed my defense with three Liverpool players (adding Agger or Finnan) without blowing my kitty.

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be:Being a Liverpool fan, I would say Bill Shankley. As for a present manager, I’d say Martin O’Neill.

Blog name:  This Is American Soccer 

Team name:  Slender Loris

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus:  my favorite players + cheap defenders

The player I had to have was:  Csec from Arsenal

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be: Wenger

Blog name: Culture of Soccer

Team name:Filthy Karate Doggs (it was the name of an intramural
 basketball team I played on in college)

 My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus: Hard to
 say. I’ve never really played fantasy soccer before, though I have
 years of Championship / Football Manager experience. Perhaps it
 will be to try not to get killed.

 The player I had to have was:I really like Kolo Toure, if for no
 other reason than the fact that he cost 150,000 pounds when Arsenal
 bought him in 2002. I love his effort and I think he’s a very clean
 player who plays with the right spirit.

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be:Arsene
Wenger, no doubt.

Blog name: Pyle of List

Team name:Allardyce-K

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus: “You play to win the game!” - Herm Edwards. But seriously, I’m blowing all of my $ on midfielders and strikers.

The player I had to have was: MAAAARRRRKKKK VIDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKAAAAAAAAAA, MAAAAAARRRRKKKKKK VIDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKAAAAAAAAAA! Just for the fact that I could sing his song more than anything he’ll do on the field.

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be: Sir Alex Ferguson. Gum chewing + smarmy look + accent= awesome.

Blog name: That’s On Point

Team name: Spider Pigs

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus: I’ll leave it to Bruce Dickinson & Iron Maiden

– “Riding through dustclouds and barren wastes
Galloping hard on the plains
Chasing the redskins back to their holes
Fighting them at their own game
Murder for freedom a stab in the back
Women and children and cowards attack     Run to the hills run for your lives”

The player I had to have was:Gamst

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be:Graeme Souness….yes to moustache, no to the perm. Yes to planting a flag at the center of the field, no to scuffling with Craig Bellamy.

Blog name: The Beautiful Game

Team name: Last American Hope

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus: 1) Get players you recognize, 2) Get players from big clubs, 3) Hope your American boys contribute, 4) Pray other teams are absolutely devastated by injuries.

The player I had to have was:Michael Essien.

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be:Harry Redknapp. Not only did he play professionally in Seattle — my hometown — but he once let a heckling fan play for West Ham as a substitute.

Blog name:  Deuce of Davenport

Team name:  New York Donkey Punch (not original or creative. i’m lazy.)

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus:  All flops, all the time.

The player I had to have was:  Juan Sebastian Veron (anyone who can steal that kind of money from two big teams has to be money)

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be:  Jose Mourinho (yes i’m biased)

Blog name: Soccernista

Team name:Lukey the Czech

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus:A constant analysis of player’s performance followed by the appropriate transfers in order to maximize the potentials of the transfer market and my team’s value thereby eventually leading me to kick everyones ass.
 

The player I had to have was:Rozenhal

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be:Gordon Strachan (best interviews ever)

Blog name:  Soccernista

Team name:  Proper Fishermen

My Fantasy Premier League strategy can be summarized thus:  General neglect.  Forget to update my lineup, leave injured players as my captain - that sort of thing.

The player I had to have was:  Thierry Henry.  What?  Oh.  Alan Shearer then.

If I were a premier league manager (past or present) I’d be: ‘Arry Redknapp