Qualifying Round: Sunderland vs. Wigan

August 4 - 2007

Ah…Sunderland vs. Wigan…the second pairing in the battle for my support.  If you woke up on a Saturday, turned on FSC, and found this match-up staring you in the face, you’d be forgiven for crawling back into bed.  No matter - let’s get this 6-pointer started.   Note:  Because teams make more than one appearance in this little tourney, I’ll only assess the two squads in so far as an obvious (for me) winner emerges.  An updated bracket can be found at right.

The case for Sunderland:  There was a time when Sunderland had some appeal.  The striker-pairing of Niall Quinn and Kevin Phillips was both comical and potent - a “Mutt and Jeff” routine with serious goal-scoring punch.  Claudio Reyna performed well there, and I even recall a few top-half of the table finishes at the turn of the century.  Then came 2005-2006.  That particular team spent their pre-season in North America en route to a point total of 15 for the year.  I remember speaking to my brother (who played for the Vancouver Whitecaps at the time) after his team had faced Sunderland and beaten them 3-0.  His assessment of the Black Cats was this: “I felt bad for those guys.  It was a sell-out only because people wanted to watch a Premier League team…and they were a disaster.  ManUtd is gonna’ beat that team 10-nil.”  And that’s pretty much how it went.

But it’s 2007, and Sunderland are a new team(?).  The pros:

• If there’s one thing to like about the latest incarnation of Sunderland it’s their manager, Roy muthafuckin’ Keane.  I’m no friend of Manchester United, but if you have a dram of testosterone coursing through your veins  you gotta’ respect the Keano.
• The smiling assassin, Dwight Yorke, now plies his trade with Sunderland.  That guy is old.  And good.
• There’s something appealing about the Sunderland nickname, the Black Cats.  Cute, but sinister.  Devil’s spawn, but cuddly.
• Defender Nyron Nosworthy has what may be the best nickname in the league: Nyron Maiden.

And on to the cons:

• Memories of that 2005-06 team are burned into my retina.  Good God was that team awful.  Seriously.  They made Watford 2006-07 look like world beaters, and that’s not hyperbole.
• “Stadium of Light”?  In the North of England?  How ’bout “Stadium of Steel Grey Overcast.”
• Sure, Roy Keane will start the year as manager, but after he is suspended indefinitely for choking Arsene Wenger into unconsciousness…

The case for Wigan:  Wikipedia tells me Wigan is part of greater Manchester, which tells me Wigan fans must curse the day they were born inside Wigan city limits.  Can you imagine staring over the offending line at the masses of Red Devil fans polishing their trophies?  And what do you have?  Emile Heskey.

Life is cruel.  Let’s look at some pros: 

• Wigan employ Chris Kirkland, the goalkeeper who netted his family tens of thousands of dollars when he appeared for the full national team; they had placed a bet on him (when he was 11 years old) to play for England at a price of 100/1. 
• Wigan were originally members of the Northern Premier League.  Now where have I heard that before?
• Remember two years ago when Wigan, newly promoted from the Championship, opened their campaign against Chelsea at home?  They gave the champions all they could handle, and only an Hernan Crespo strike in the 92nd minute kept Wigan from pure ecstasy.  That game alone was probably enough to make a small part of you a Wigan fan.

Some cons:

• Wigan is where formerly well regarded players go to die.  The aforementioned Emile Heskey is joined by Mario Melchiot, Titus Bramble, Kevin Kilbane, Henri Camara…the list goes on.
• Wigan are notoriously under-supported.  The height of the apathy hit during their League Cup semi-final clash with Arsenal when 12,000 and change  showed up at the JJB. 
• Their nickname is “The Latics” which, they say, is short for Athletics.  Sounds more like a mispronunciation to me.
• The main terrace tune is “You Are My Sunshine.”  That’ll rile ‘em up.

The Verdict:  By halftime, this fight for bottom of the table-scraps looked to be locked in a nil-nil snoozer.  Sunderland, however, emerged from the tunnel with fear in their eyes and purpose in their heart.  2-0 to Sunderland amid rumors that Roy Keane had bitten the head off a black kitten during the break.