Can Good edge evil for a place in europe?
April 18 – 2007
Call it “baby foot.” Call it “foosball.” Call it an epic battle for the soul of mankind.
By way of With Leather and the Basketball Jones comes the $20,000 “Good vs. Evil” foos-table, a rec-room device far too epic for stakes of “full-beer-chug” or “naked-lap-around-the-frat-house.” Says Matt:
“Just like the Bible always predicted, the final battle between Good and Evil will be played on the foosball table…I have to admit: it doesn’t look good for Good. The offense is a shambles: God can start things pretty nicely, but his finishing skills have diminished over the last 2000 years, and I don’t see Mary Poppins and Gandhi stepping up to score goals in his place.”
The rest of the lineup can be found here, and I’d have to agree: I can’t see Good getting points off a side so rife with misanthropy that even Joseph Stalin (10 million killed) can’t break into the 1st team. They really do have their work cut out.Â
Some additional thoughts about the matchup:
- For God, it’s really a question of whether he can reproduce his Old Testament form; the whole “send your son to deliver a message of forgiveness” crap simply won’t be enough to break down the Evil midfield.
- I was a bit surprised to see both teams go with the 2-5-3. Looks like the End of Days will see no shortage of goalmouth action.
- Caligula will be attacking the flank of Ghandi and Mother Teresa all day long.  Sorry, couldn’t resist.
- When Piglet read the team-sheets and saw that Christopher Robin would be marking Pol Pot, I have no doubt he crapped himself.
- Hitler loved Nietzsche. Nietzsche declared God dead. Hitler must face God in midfield. I predict numerous Hitler mental-lapses, especially during restarts.
- I’m guessing the glory hole (below) was Caligula’s idea.Â
Who’s Paul Pot?
Comment by omac — April 19, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
Who is Paul Pot?
Comment by omac — April 19, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
Obviously, Good has to play as a team, keep the ball moving and avoid being drawn into retaliating against Evil’s constant cynical fouling.
Good should look to take advantage of the counter-attack, and with the sheer number of restarts from fouls, they should take all free kicks outside of 25 yards out as quickly as possible.
If Evil is allowed to slow the game down and dictate a more methodical Continental-style, Good may want to switch to a 3-5-2. Good might also think about switching to a more traditional 4-4-2 for take advantage of the space on the wings in the final third.
Good to see that Santa and God have put aside their differences for the sake of the team.
My only question is, who is the man in the middle?
Comment by Scott — April 19, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
I’m most concerned about Santa’s mobility in the back.
Comment by omac — April 19, 2007 @ 12:25 pm
“Who’s Paul Pot?”
He’s the guy who’s going to send Christopher Robin to the re-education rice-patty.
Comment by stuartdowningpints — April 19, 2007 @ 1:28 pm
I guess “Pol,” could be Khmer for “Paul.” All I know is Vlad should watch his back – that Cambodian kid is crazy.
Comment by omac — April 19, 2007 @ 1:38 pm
I really think Good should consider moving God to center-back, as it’s hard to see anyone else banishing Lucifer from the six yard box. He’ll be camping out all day waiting for Vlad’s driven crosses, and through balls from Jack the Ripper should cut the defense wide open without some divine intervention.
Comment by Ben — April 19, 2007 @ 9:21 pm
The striker pairing of God and Ghandi seems problematic. Monotheism and polytheism in the same lineup? Not good, Good.
Comment by garth — April 20, 2007 @ 12:40 am
I thought Good would stick Jesus in net. I heard he’s saved over 2 billion.
Comment by rob — April 22, 2007 @ 3:50 pm
I thought that was McDonald’s.
Comment by stuartdowningpints — April 22, 2007 @ 6:59 pm
At the end of the day…ah, mega-millinium, under Coach Darwin’s constant guidance, the smart money is on “good” or at the very least “adequate”. Yes, both sides have impact players and quality thru out, but no question fittness will separate the sides.
Comment by grandeagle — April 23, 2007 @ 9:19 am
Christopher Robin? Seriously? How does he get the call-up while plenty of other Good players don’t get to wear the Good kit for this match?
St. Augustine?
Joseph of Arimathea?
Dali Lama?
Buddha?
For Evil, man, they left off some ringers –
Lady MacBeth over Baba Yaga? Ouch!
Christiano Ronaldo? Where is he out on the left?!
Grendel?
Grendel’s Mother?
Set?
Finally, there is a complete lapse of pre-Christian/Judeo figures –
Thor would have kicked butt as a center defender, Socrates and Aristotle would make a good holding midfield, and Marduk would be a smokin’ winger.
Comment by poofyhandedplayer — April 23, 2007 @ 11:12 am