I’ll hate myself for this
April 11 – 2007
While watching Manchester United play through a pack of maroon and white cones yesterday, I was forced to admit: there are great players, and there are players who reinvent the game. Cristiano Ronaldo is of the latter quality.Â
Great players fulfill expectations – they are as good as you can possibly fathom. Stephen Gerard, for instance, is a great midfielder. He has great pace, is great in the tackle, possesses great vision, has a great first touch, etc. But in this greatness he has merely realized our preconceived notions about what it means to be a great midfielder. We all knew a Stephen Gerard was possible, and when he arrived we all agreed he was great.
Ronaldo, on the other hand, has pushed the limits of what our collective brain agreed was possible on a soccer field. He has shown us not great examples of what we knew a player could do, but redefined our very definition of what a player can be.  Some evidence:
- Screw the “Gyro Ball.” I’d like to know how it is, 150 years after the game’s founding, a man develops a new way to strike a soccer ball.Â
Sure, free-kicks are one thing, but Ronaldo has been striking the ball in this manner (erect posture, top of laces, no follow through) in the run of play. Anyone who feigns familiarity with this technique is likely a liar.
- There have been plenty of dribblers in the game’s history, but none have gone past defenders like Ronaldo. Ludicrous amounts of pace coupled with phenomenal control has allowed the Portuguese to redefine what it means to “go at” someone. He’ll push the ball into any available space and be the first to meet it, often choosing to run at supporting defenders. Show him to the outside? He’ll take it. Inside? That too. And if you try to split the difference in order to keep him in front of you, he’ll back you right into your own goal. Just ask Cristian Chivu about what happens when you try and keep Ronaldo in front of you.
- Finally, in place of a neck, Ronaldo has positioned a tree trunk of sinew and bone. This may not be a reinvention of the game, exactly, but surely it counts for something.
Ronaldo’s rehabilitation as a Premiership player has been remarkable. Eight short months ago, smart money said Ronaldo would be unable to continue at United after his World Cup bust-up with Wayne Rooney. The whole of England had identified him public enemy #1. Today, the PFA can’t award him player of the year fast enough, and UEFA and FIFA will be next in line to do the same. Talk now is of Ronaldo extending his Old Trafford master class indefinitely.
I’ll not enter into the discussion of which players are great, and which reinvent the game. I’ll even grant that a player could belong to the latter group, yet somehow not qualify for the former. Indeed, Cristiano Ronaldo may ultimately prove to be just such a player. But for now, fans of the game should grab their loved ones, plant them in front of a television, and force them to watch this young man. Of course, how you explain the fact that the best player in our sport is a chronic diver/metrosexual is up to you. You can bring a horse to water…
It’s almost like he’s hitting the ball like a golfer hits a golf ball, using the laces as the face of the club. Depeding on the backswing, angle of attack, and follow through he’s getting a draw or a fade or topping the ball to get it to sink.
I played some goalkeeper against some decent talent (Division I, US collegiate) and a few times players would hit a ball you couldn’t read with little spin and a knuckle, slice, or fade. In my experience it was either natural (the same player hit the same kind of slice or knuckle all the time) or an accident.
I always thought of football shots like baseball pitches with the foot replacing the hand as imparting the spin. But these shots are like hitting a racket or a club.
Comment by joejoejoe — April 11, 2007 @ 2:33 am
I’ve figured it out. It’s not the he has a huge neck…he is actually half man/half angry monitor lizard.
http://bonecosanimados.blogs.sapo.pt/arquivo/cristiano%20ronaldo.jpg
http://mongabay.org/images/thai/monitor_06.jpg
Comment by Carlos — April 11, 2007 @ 3:37 am
I propose a Kenny Cooper vs. Ronaldo neck lifting competition.
Followed by a case race and a Beirut tournament.
I’m fairly sure that action with the new MLS anthem in the background would definitely get ratings.
Comment by ManUFan — April 11, 2007 @ 3:45 am
Great post. I, too, was a Ronaldo cynic (Man U AND that frosted hair? Please.) until I saw him play in the flesh several times at Euro 2004. He was less polished then, obviously, but that incredible strength and speed were already in place. All his amazing skill aside, the thing that continues to impress me most is his sheer power — if he doesn’t want to go down (dirty), you will NOT be able to stop him. It’s impossible.
Comment by Martha — April 11, 2007 @ 7:16 am
“I propose a Kenny Cooper vs. Ronaldo neck lifting competition.
Followed by a case race…”
You, sir, are a genius.
Comment by garth — April 11, 2007 @ 8:32 am
hes a truly remarkable player alright. not To mention the fact that he is GORGEOUS! i support man utd because of him, and unlike most people after the world cup i didn’t believe that he deserved to be crucified because of one minor mistake! i mean, english fans couldn’t deal with the fact that their team sucked! thats why they blamed him for the whole incident not because any blame actualy rested with him. im glad that people have actualy woken up and realised that he is a brilliant player…
Comment by x i luv cris x — April 11, 2007 @ 9:40 am
may i add that in my opinion he is the best player in the world at the moment! i’d also like to clear up an issue that many like to bring up to counteract the enormous amount of praise that cristiano is receiving..people are saying that evry1 is expecting too much from him, that we are making him out to be more than he actualy is. but to me that is a blinkered and unfair statement. cristiano has come back from the most horrendous media crucifiction and showed us what he is capable of not the other way round
Comment by x i luv cris x — April 11, 2007 @ 10:02 am
Regarding universal hate for Ronaldo in England… just not the case.
United supporters don’t care much for the F.A. They don’t with the the national side to lose but would take the treble over a World Cup trophy any day. They have no problem loving Rooney and Ronaldo at the same time.
One of the benefits of attending a match at Old Trafford in December is that when watching “Manchester United play through a pack of maroon and white cones yesterday” I actually knew the words to the songs they were singing about him. He’ll be a legend there just like Eric Cantona.
Comment by CB Langley — April 11, 2007 @ 10:12 am
Allow me to quote myself…
“I also want to single out Boro’s George Boateng for praise after he verbalized what so many of us have been thinking. From Soccernet.com:
“Middlesbrough skipper George Boateng has been disciplined by his club after warning Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo his antics could earn him reprisals.
The furious Dutchman hit out in the wake of Boro’s FA Cup quarter-final replay defeat at Old Trafford in which the Portugal international, for the second time this season, won his side a controversial penalty against the north-east club.
Young midfielder James Morrison was sent off for lashing out at the United star late in the game and Boateng later said of Ronaldo’s trickery, ‘one day, someone will hurt him properly’.â€
Everytime I watch Ronaldo, two things become increasingly evident:
#1: Should he continue to develop at the rate he has, he will soon become utterly impossible to stop. Quite frankly, his talent is mind-boggling and he could become undefendable.
#2: I hate him. Not because of his talent or because he plays for United, but because he’s whiny, cocky cunt who goes down faster than a lady of the evening. Plus, saying things like, “Maybe I’m too good for some people†isn’t helping his cause one bit.
Boateng is right. Should Cristiano continue to simultaneously continue to become most talented player and the biggest diving cunt in all of English football, somebody is going to mow him down Roy Keane-style and put an end to his career.
Quite frankly, I’m beginning to want to see it happen. 50 gold pieces and the fairest maiden in all the land to the man who brings me the leg of Ronaldo!”
Comment by Scott — April 11, 2007 @ 10:51 am
Let me preface this posting by saying I am NOT a ManU fan nor do I want to play with Ronaldo’s nuts…but, I DO respect the player and the team.
Scott – seems to me of bit of jealousy has invaded your posting.
“I hate him. Not because of his talent or because he plays for United, but because he’s whiny, cocky cunt who goes down faster than a lady of the evening. Plus, saying things like, “Maybe I’m too good for some people†isn’t helping his cause one bit.”
He’s not just too good for some people, he’s actually too good for most people. And, let’s face it, if he weren’t confident something would be wrong. To be that good, the line between confidence and arrogance is indistinguishable. It’s hard for me to blame the guy for his comments, and I sure as hell can’t blame him for the way he plays.
ON a side note, Boateng can go fuck himself. That sorry excuse for a center mid can go suck Southgates ass. Maybe if he worried more about doing his job Boro would be in a better spot…
Comment by LG — April 11, 2007 @ 11:36 am
Jealousy? That’s not it at all.
Would I love it if Liverpool had a player of his pedigree on the wing? Surely. Would I want a player with that personality in the shirt? No. (We’ve got Bellamay — all the crap attitude without the mind-boggling talent)
The overriding issue here is his personality.
He’s a cunt. If he carried himself him with the slightest bit of modesty, instead of acting like a petulant child who expects every call each time he decides to go down after shoulder contact, when he doesn’t need to b/c he can dribble past the defender 8 out 10 times, then I’d have more respect for him as a person. It’s the manner in which he carries himself that draws my ire.
Look at the video posted of his free kick from the United-Europe XI game. I watched that game, and you only get to see a glimpse of it right after he scores, but he just lifts his hands like a gladiator and nods like a cocky frat boy. That attitude permeates his whole game. The two are completely fused together.
There was another instance since, during the Blackburn game. He put a cross through the box, which Park (I believe) ended up knocking in on the far post. Ronaldo wheels away towards the center of the pitch in celebration of himself, ignoring the goalscorer, as if he did it all himself. Funny, b/c his teammates went to congratulate Park and Ronaldo never made it over there to do the same.
Nobody is questioning the kid’s talents. But talent doesn’t excuse his acting like a complete douche. Don’t confuse jealousy for my petty detestation.
Comment by Scott — April 11, 2007 @ 12:25 pm
the problem with the ronaldo criticism is that although some of it is justified, it is never balanced with the fact that there are times when he could (and probably should) have gone down but didn’t, there were probably 3 such instances yesterday, he was was definately fouled as he carried the ball through midfield on carrick’s first goal, but that goes laregely unnoticed.
Comment by Matt — April 11, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
While I’m inclined to agree somewhat with Scott about Ronaldo’s personality, I’ll not let that distract from the fact that maybe just maybe he’s earned some of the cockiness.
Plus, some people are just douches. Nothing to be done about it despite the levels of bitching and moaning that any of us may do (most certainly including me…).
That being said, some of the credit that Ronaldo is getting surely has to go to Sir Alex (and as a Liverpool fan, it hurts to say that…).
There are few clubs around the world were Ronaldo would have been allowed the time and the space to develop into what he’s become today. Especially considering the level of his performances between 2004 and 2005 when, despite the glimpses of skill, the end-product was largely not there.
Comment by drew.catt — April 11, 2007 @ 1:54 pm
Scott- as a Liverpool fan, you shouldn’t be so quick to condemn divers. Not with Gerrard in your side.
Comment by Jeff — April 11, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
I will preface my comments by saying that I am a Man United fan, but will try to remain as objective as possible. Ronaldo did have a diving problem, but if you look at his season this year, there have been virtually no egregious dives. Keep in mind that as many people have pointed out, he is the most detested player in England, singled out for the most abuse by away crowds than any other United player. And since he has evolved to being the best player in the world, it stands to reason that people are going to take more shots at him. Look at yesterdays game when Chivu, I think, drove his knees into his ribs on a header or when Mexes, after Ronaldo has passed off, looked and tried to intentionally kick him. The fact that he goes down more than the average players is probably because he is being targeted for more rough play than his diving. He has removed that element of his game, looking for the dive, because he knows that he can cause more damage by staying on his feet and continuing with the ball.
Comment by Juan — April 11, 2007 @ 2:39 pm
cristiano is hot!! is it jus me or is this guy so damn gorgeous, girls? mmmm….
Comment by sarah 4rm cape town — April 11, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
Firstly, nobody should ever go down willingly, regardless of a foul (enter your own joke there)…
Secondly, while Gerrard has been guilty of it on more than one occasion, the Gerrard to Ronaldo ratio is roughly 1:20.
Ronaldo does it EVERY game. I could count maybe 4 or 5 times Stevie has done it this season.
Do I wish he didn’t do it? Yes. But, I’m not worried about living long enough to see the day he gets anywhere close to as bad as Cristiano.
Is he a target because he’s so good, yes. Look at George Best. But, I refuse to sympathize for him.
Maybe he should take the theatrics to Spain, where it’s not as physical and his act would fit in perfectly.
I would grant you, though, the Premiership would be losing a major talent.
Comment by Scott — April 11, 2007 @ 2:59 pm
“it is never balanced with the fact that there are times when he could (and probably should) have gone down but didn’t”
See this is the problem with what the game is becoming. In the past, players did not look for an excuse to go down. They went down when they were taken down and not because they “could” have gone done to sell a foul. It has got to the point of infecting the officiating such that if the player does not go down writhing in real or feigned agony there will be no call, even where a foul takes place (and I am not including cases in which the advantage is rightly played).
The point is there never should be times when the player calculates whether the foul is hard enough that he “can” go down or “should” go down. I know I am now in a dwindling minority of supporters who prefer seeing players play with some honor and pride, but thats just me.
Comment by Mr. McG. — April 11, 2007 @ 3:07 pm
Listen the man is amazing to watch, and maybe the best “pure striker” but give me on my squad Drogba and his amazing defending skills as well as his deadly finishing…at least now.
I think Drogba is better all around, today, this moment…that is all.
Comment by Essien's Bison Burgers — April 11, 2007 @ 3:15 pm
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Pingback by Lee Corso’s Merkin » Blog Archive » Blogdome: Enter The Ladies … — April 11, 2007 @ 3:18 pm
Legend. That’s about all that needs to be said. Criticize him all you want–the lad is clearly in a class of his own, and has kept his form going all season long in one of the most physically-demanding leagues in the world.
Comment by Derek — April 11, 2007 @ 3:28 pm
excuse me, scott but jelousy is definetly, in my opinion, the reason for your stupid, petty hate of ronaldo. please. itz so childish! God.
Comment by isnt cristiano delicious? lol!!! — April 11, 2007 @ 4:26 pm
Scott, get a life… Ronaldo is YOUNG and his 2006/2007 play post WC has been exemplary including his work with Rooney… You probably one of those blokes that thinks ANY confident guy is an ass so by definition all of the EPL would upset you. Stick to figure skating where skaters act more appropriately. Oh – I can’t stand Man U before you go off on that one.. again… yawn…
Comment by raul — April 11, 2007 @ 5:42 pm
Maybe it’s just me, but, if you’re that good you have to be a “cock”. Yes, by that I mean confident and even arrogant…call him a douche if you like, but he’s A LOT less of a douche then say, Gerrard. For fuck sakes man, that guy ever heard of a hair cut that didn’t make him look like some school boy in the 1980’s…wtf???
“I watched that game, and you only get to see a glimpse of it right after he scores, but he just lifts his hands like a gladiator and nods like a cocky frat boy.”
I watched the game as well and I have to be honest, I love the celebration, or lack thereof. Would you rather seem some shitsack (Bellamy for example) run to the corner flag and do something stupid or Ronaldo just turn and raise his hands…brilliant. The difference is Ronaldo’s celebration implies he hits free kicks like that consistently…and, well..he does…no extra celebration needed.
Maybe the argument comes down to our subjective definition of what exactly constitutes a “douche”. …I can live with that. Plus, I love that word and your use of it suggests that you may not be a douche.
Comment by LG — April 11, 2007 @ 6:00 pm
Douchenista.com
I like it.
Comment by garth — April 11, 2007 @ 6:09 pm
[...] Hate Myself For This [Soccer Nista]: Diver or not, Cristiano Ronaldo is really, really good. You can make the argument that he’s [...]
Pingback by Sportable » Blog Archive » Blog Roundup for 4-11-07 — April 11, 2007 @ 7:01 pm
That was in incredible match. The scoring was furious and impressive. Can’t wait for the next round…
Comment by Carrousel Yacht — April 11, 2007 @ 7:56 pm
Overrated. This opinion is a piece of garbage.
Comment by Joe Scribe — April 11, 2007 @ 9:31 pm
“Overrated. This opinion is a piece of garbage.”
Totti? That you?
Comment by stuartdowningpints — April 11, 2007 @ 10:06 pm
Could not agree with Scott’s posts more. Ronaldo is a fantastic player and has now literally scared defenders so much that they don’t even try to tackle him. A bit like Giggs was at his best. And dare I say it but I could run from the halfway line and score if nobody tackles me. Remember that Giggs “fantastic” semi-final goal against Arsenal a few years back (you’ll remember it for being scarred for life by a shirtless Giggs if nothing else), watch it again. Not one single tackle by an Arsenal player, or even an attempt to tackle.
Ronaldo has earned the respect of the defenders in not tackling him by i) being a fantastic dribbler at speed, ii) being a diving, cheating, whinger if someone has the temerity to actual make a tackle. It’s this second point and the fact that he’s such an arrogant bastard that just leaves people cold.
Comment by Antgrad — April 12, 2007 @ 5:54 am
I swear, watching that goal vs. Reading reminds me of nothing more than a toe-punch. I think he’s getting just the bare tip of the top of his shoe on that and then really powering through more with his lower leg than his body/thigh.
Comment by Poofyglovedplayer — April 13, 2007 @ 4:49 pm
agreed that ronaldo has played brilliantly on numerous occasions and has remarkable control.
on the other hand, it sounds like you are comparing him to platini, cruyff, maradona, socrates, and pele. he is simply not a legend like those men. perhaps we can forgive maradona for his transgressions off and (more importantly) on the field, but ronaldo dives for all the world to see and makes no apologies.
his skill is remarkable, but the impunity with which he flouts the custom of a striker keeping his feet when he runs at goal is the only facet of his game that is truly unmatched.
Comment by Exile — April 17, 2007 @ 2:24 am
Its taken me a whole year to master how he takes his free-kicks. I have finally learnt it
. Its not a toe punt or from the lace. He actually hits it from the side of his right toe, making it look like a toe punt. You might think if you do this, it should get curl on it. But that is my friends what took the most time learning. Its actually a slice. If you hit it with great power (I do not have the power as him 
,) the ball will serve on its own like an egg. In fact, its very hard to achieve this from 30 yards because a shot with power mainly comes from the lace. Ive tried many times, and most turned out to be saves. But i have could cleary see that the ball serves like his without lacing it. The way to take his free-kick is position the ball, step back untill 3-4 yards. On the 90 degree angle you are to the ball, take steps to your left (that is if you are right footed, take steps to the right if your left) until you reach about a 70 degree angle. This is the most important stage in getting the right power and technique. Without the angle and distance of run up, you wont learn it correctly. Obviously before striking the ball, take your time, take deep breaths and relax yourself. Now, jog towards the ball but the main bit here is do not take your eye of the ball. This is important because you have to see where you hit the ball. The ball must be hit cleanly in the middle to get the serve how he does. However, u might think if you do this, you wont get the right power, but just before you hit, take a little jump and boost with your left foot meaning push your body with your left to free your right foot to get maximum power. Once you strike the ball, it should be very deadly if you follow these steps. You wont succed at first, it will take months to learn.
Comment by Tony Montana — April 30, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
[...] wrote a piece suggesting Ronaldo was reinventing the game, and I stand by that. He really doesn’t fit the [...]
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