First Kick

April 7 – 2007

Back from vacation and ramping up very, very slowly. Many thanks to Jobi for posting a handpicked batch of news items; with luck we’ll convince him to make it a semi-regular installment.

MLS previews are popping up all over the internets, so I won’t pile on. I will, however, call your attention to two very important pieces of MLS flotsam:

• One thing I missed while freezing my ass off (and desperately awaiting the next opportunity to pee in my wetsuit) was the too good to be true Eric Wynalda interview posted by Fulham USA:Â

“You will never get a guy, in me, who is more of a believer in the American player. Jim Rome can suck my dick! And he should be very afraid, because I’m the kind of guy, if I get too many drinks in me, I will club his ass.”

“Guy in me” + “suck my dick” + “club his ass” = a tad heavy on the homoeroticism. Wynalda has been suspended by ESPN for today’s game, and will be replaced by Julie Foudy. This is me resisting a “suck my d” joke at Foudy’s strong-jawed expense.

• The MLS theme song has been “unveiled,” and you can regale your ears with it here.  Says Soccernista favorite, Ivan Gazidis,

“I felt this music. I felt that this music was exactly right,” he said. “The very first time for me it had that piece, that kernel of something that I could feel being absolutely right at our MLS Cup final.”

Funny, I’d have thought Gazidis would have gone for something with a more socialist feel like, say, the Soviet national anthem. But when you find that “kernel”…Â

I have nothing against a theme song, and bad or good I can’t see it mattering much, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention a) the song reminds me of a victory march for gnomes, b) nothing says misplaced bombast like the rhythmic beating of tympanis, and c) this will sound great ringing through the vast emptiness of Arrowhead Stadium.Â

Enjoy the first games, everybody.