Tossing Dough at Pizza Hut Park

March 27 - 2007 

While no one knows the outcome of tomorrow’s clash between the US and Guatemala (9 pm ET, ESPN 2), we can say this: not since Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto” will Guatemalans have had so much screen time.  Hold the flour this time, fellas.

The ersatz tradition here at Soccernista has been to fabricate hatred for US opponents, but this time I am at an impasse - the nanny that cares for my infant son is Guatemalan.  As a result, half my annual salary ends up in Guatemala.  I am the source of 35% of the country’s foreign capital.  If I hate on Guatemala, she might quit, and the economy of the country would be destabilized.  This could cause a wave of revolt throughout Central America.  And we can’t have that, can we.

The Ecuador game was documented in superb fashion by Nordy, but I have some bad news: yours truly will be back with the mediocre liveblogging steez.  Maybe Landon will play terribly, make out with Bianca in the run of play, and cry big alligator tears when his uniform gets dirty.  That would make things easier, wouldn’t it.