Hump Day roundup
January 17 – 2007
Because you need some distraction while slowly wasting away in your cubicle:
God reveals himself in different ways to different people. Some receive visions of the Virgin Mary in a tortilla, others acquire the ability to speak in tongues. Me? Twice in two days, players with “dong” in their name have appeared in Soccernet headlines. Today, it’s Man U’s latest loan returnee, Dong Fangzhou, earning the headline “Dong given all-clear to play for Man Utd.” Yesterday, it was Boro’s transfer target, Lee Dong-Gook, inspiring “Middlesbrough close in on capture of Dong-Gook.” Fantastic work, God.- Liverpool are hoping FIFA will grant them a variance allowing Javier Mascherano to play for three teams in one season. Ostensibly their argument is that he doesn’t play for West Ham, which seems about right. The question of why Liverpool would want to sign the guy, though, is beyond me. His handful of appearances have been marked by wet-noodle tackles, poor technique, and an utter lack of vision. When I have my recurring nightmare about being thrust into a game beyond my talents, I play like Javier Mascherano but fatter. Good luck with that, Liverpool.
- The volume of Beckham news flooding the tubes is breathtaking. Look hard enough, though, and there’s some truly beautiful crap among the maelstrom. The Daily Mirror, for example, has printed excerpts of an interview with Frank Yallop’s wife regarding the arrival of Becks emaciated other half, Victoria. Mrs. Yallop goes to great lengths to relay the “down to Earth” nature of Galaxy wives, as if $35,000 a year and a one bedroom apartment in El Segundo will bring you anywhere else. Plus you get the somewhat desperate offer of “I’ll cook bangers and mash for Posh!” I’m starting to think that the Beckhams coming to the Galaxy will be like dropping Paris Hilton into a West African Pygmy village.
- If you haven’t already, check out the highlights of Ramon Calderon’s attack on Real players, Real fans, Beckham, The LA Galaxy, small puppies, and old people.
- I’m not even going to type something here. I just won’t.