Special Management theory

January 16 – 2007

You’re no doubt familiar with Jose Mourinho’s methods of dealing with problem players: alienate them, let the situation boil down to an own-goal threat, swap them to a rival for someone who actually scores own-goals, whine about the hole the move has left in your lineup, repeat.

Fabio Capello, apparently an under-study of “The Special One,” has hung not one but two players out to dry this week: David Beckham and Ronaldo. Of Beckham, Capello has said, “The decision of the player is to go to Los Angeles, he has always been a great professional, but a player who has such an important contract with another club, we cannot count on him. He is not going to play any more.” Of Capello’s attitude towards Ronaldo, club president Ramon Calderon claimed, “he is going to be inactive because the coach has made it clear he doesn’t count on him, and it would surely be better for the club and him if he went if there are offers.”

To declare a player persona non grata isn’t unheard of, but usually demands the player do something truly unforgivable. Craig Bellamy was given a “not welcome” slip at Newcastle, but only after sending abusive text messages to Alan Shearer. Beckham and Ronaldo? The former is out of contract at the summer, the latter is…well…fat. Hardly the the stuff of excommunication.

Providing frame of reference here is the very excellent example of Frank Rijkaard and Henrik Larsson. Larsson signed a sentimental contract with his home club, Helsingborg, at roughly this time last year. Rijkaard, ever the pragmatist, reserved judgment on Larsson’s future at the club. Come May, Larsson came on as a substitute in the Champions League final to turn the match in Barca’s favor, helping them past Arsenal and into history.

Rijkaard hasn’t been silent on Capello’s stance, saying, “In theory I wouldn’t sideline the player. You always have to look to the interests of the team…Everyone wants to win things and if a player has a contract he can still keep on working.”

If Rijkaard’s approach seems to be self-evident, it’s because it is. Treating Beckham and Ronaldo so dismissively cuts down Capello’s options, and even if the manager can’t possibly envision a situation whereby he would need these fading stars, the laws of probability assure such a situation exists. Or, if you like, Macgyver never threw away a gum wrapper.

Where, then, is all this shoot-from-the-hip rage coming from? Power may corrupt, but it’s cash that turns managers to shit. Let’s call it the “David O’Leary Construct.” Managers rely on intellect and experience to generate wins…then, as purse strings loosen, real estate magnates assume the presidency, or Russian oligarchs purchase the team, an easier way becomes available: buy better players. With no end to the resources in sight, new blood becomes the answer to every problem. Tactical adjustments, training ground tweaks, and formation realignments go out the window.

I’ve mentioned the phenomena in relation to Mourinho’s journey from Portuguese miracle worker to glorified shopper, and it seems Capello has followed the same path. Madrid’s transfer policy is such that no player is unbuyable, and this leads to the type of “fantasy management” a 13 year-old with a Playstation and Fifa ‘07 would be proud of.

How, then, can these managers be rehabilitated? Mourinho looks to be on his way out of Stamford Bridge, and unless Real snap him up, he’ll be put on a comparative diet wherever he ends up. Capello? He’s in the deepest throes of O’Learyitis, and at that point only one thing will do: the John Sitton treatment.

For those that don’t know, the Sitton treatment is a video series aimed at saving managers from their spendaholic habits by showing them another way. “When results go poorly,” Sitton says, “don’t buy more expensive players; scream at the ones you have.” Observe (R rated):

Take two of those, Fabio, and call me in the morning.

Update: Capello may be backtracking on his Beckham ban.