Holiday Gifts to avoid
December 22 - 2006
Ever since the launch of the Manchester United Opus, we’ve been wondering: are there gifts that suck worse than a $6000 ode to evil?
David Beckham Instinct - $89.95
“Meant to mirror Beckham’s strong character, Instinct is a rich, balanced scent; it’s a formula for success on any playing field.” Unless, of course, that field is located in Germany or Spain.
It would be easy to get worked up about how we would never wear cologne named after another man, let alone one who can’t get a game. But that would be missing the point…because this cologne isn’t aimed at us. Again, from the promotional literature: “The smooth glass bottle feels firm in the hand.” Clearly, this is for the guys who don’t just want to smell like Beckham - they want to smell Beckham himself. Carry on.
Landon Donovan Action Figure - $15
Though the ebay seller calls this an action figure, we prefer “doll.” The Landon doll comes in a red, white, and blue sash-type-thingy that might be an American flag, but is probably just an American flag beach-towel. The fine print is difficult to make out, but we think we read: “Now with 90 minute, disappearing action!”
Yes, that’s a split-toe shoe. And yes, it is the worst thing we’ve ever seen.
Los Angeles Galaxy Adult Fantasy Camp - $995
Though we prefer to knock the league and appreciate the players, we’ll say this: MLS fantasy camps involve a fairly liberal definition of the word “fantasy.” Empty stadiums? Check. Paltry wages? Check. Complete anonymity even in your home city? Check. Thanks for the offer, but we like to balance our fantasy pain with a bit more fantasy pleasure.
[...] Sure, it would be bad to get a Manchester United Opus, or a bottle of David Beckham In-stink. But how would you like to receive the gift that really keeps on giving: a full-blown fight with the wife over your sports-gambling habit. [...]
Pingback by soccernista.com » worst. christmas present. ever. — January 1, 2007 @ 2:53 am
[...] • The official shop of the geniuses at Wizznutzz has opened. [Mothering Hut] • A ranking of the 100 best college basketball players. (No Illini? Come on!) [CHN] • Lots of stuff to watch this holiday weekend. [Clubber Lang’s Basement] • A big recap of the first half of the EPL. [That’s On Point] • Which current NBA team would make the best fantasy team? [Rotopoll] • Remembering the late Cecil Travis. [Sports Music Blog] • Check out the video linked in this KSK post. [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • Introducing Renaldo Balkman’s MySpace page. [Bench Renaldo] • Actual quotes from the last week. [One More Dying Quail] • Some carols for the Saturday bowl games. [On College Football] • Can the Bulls beat a good defensive team? [Ron Karkovice Fan Club] • The worst possible soccer gifts. [Soccernista] [...]
Pingback by Dirty Carl Sports » Blog Archive » Blogdome: Get Your Wizznutzz Gear — January 5, 2007 @ 4:37 am
I never thought about it that way, but your right. At 90 dollars the Beckham cologne is not for kids or young adults that have his poster on their wall. I think that marketing works better for women.
Comment by Soccer Poster — January 18, 2008 @ 2:07 am