But why are you such an idiot?
December 11 – 2006
Some years ago, while watching a Roma-Inter match on what was then Fox Sports World, we were treated to a classic bit of Max Bretos “commentary.” Hidetoshi Nakata had played poorly through the first 80 minutes of play. As the game entered its final moments, however, Nakata began making an impact. His probing passes started to find their mark and the match looked like it would turn under his expert distribution. Bretos, digging deep into his bag of tricks, came up with this: “Nakata’s balls are heating up.”
Usually, this is as edgy as it gets on the family-friendly airwaves of FSC…unless, that is, you happened to tune in to last week’s Fox Football Fone-In.
For the uninitiated, Fox Football Fone-In pairs Chelsea supporter Steven Cohen with the homeliest Liverpool supporter alive, Nick Geber. The format is “call-in” but the calls are merely a jumping off point for Cohen and Geber to harass each other about their beloved clubs. The two will trade verbal barbs while Cohen gets increasingly agitated and Geber looks for a comfortable escape. Eventually Geber surrenders and Cohen looks exceedingly pleased with himself. Repeat.
But during one such exchange last week, Cohen escalated the rhetoric. While discussing the fortunes of English clubs in European competition, Cohen declared that Liverpool supporters were guilty of “causing the worst two disasters in English football history.” Later he remarked, “there’s a disgusting side of Liverpool’s history that I’ll be happy to talk about.” Cohen, of course, was referring to the Heysel and Hillsborough disasters.
Every serious fan of the game should familiarize themselves with the details of both incidents (here and here), but in the interest of time:
- Heysel: During the 1985 European Cup final, Liverpool supporters repeatedly crossed a crowd barrier to attack Juventus fans. During one such surge, a retaining wall broke and 39 Italians were crushed to death. Liverpool was deemed responsible and English clubs were banned from Europe for a period of 5 years.
- Hilsborough: Poor policing, outdated stadia, and over-crowding led to the death of 96 fans, most of them Liverpool supporters, in 1989. In the course of a major government investigation, Liverpool was found not to be at fault.
Both incidents are as sore a subject in Merseyside as can be found, and Cohen’s foray into either showed a pretty serious disregard for football-fan etiquette (and makes Jon Stewart’s Hillsborough misstep look like good, clean fun). Within 24 hours, a Liverpool fan-site brought the story to the Kop and not too much later an online petition asking for Cohen’s removal cropped up. Days later, Cohen reportedly mentioned on his radio show that he had received email death-threats over the matter, and was planning to speak to the LAPD about the situation. To our knowledge, Cohen has stuck by his “I’m entitled to my opinion” defense and has refused to apologize.
So where do we stand on the matter? Somewhere to the left of “email death-threat,” and a bit to the right of “dump pint of lager on head.” Cohen was a douchebag before he flapped his lips about Liverpool’s troubled past and, sadly, his comments don’t come as a huge shock. He’s a small guy empowered by years of picking on Geber; add to that a couple of trophies bought by Roman Abromovich, and he’s become downright unbearable. His comments were reprehensible, but it’s easy to imagine they were made solely to needle Geber. Cohen might need some reminding that he actually has an audience, however small and pathetic it may be.
But does that mean we’ll sign the petition? Nope…because how would you like it if someone came to your place of work and tried to slap the dick out of your hand. Cohen’s days on the air are numbered, but not because he’s an insensitive prick: his days are numbered because one day Fox will realize that America doesn’t need “experts by accent” lecturing us about a game we grew up on. They’ll eventually hire Americans to talk to Americans about the American fan’s perspective.
Until then, Cohen should be forced to apologize on a tearful one-hour special hosted by Max Bretos and Jeremy St. Louis. Now that would make our balls heat up.
actually, Heysel took place in 1985 and Hillsbourough was in 1989
Comment by frank — December 11, 2006 @ 4:14 pm
Correction made. Gracias.
-Ed.
Comment by garth — December 11, 2006 @ 4:22 pm
Two complete English douchebags on TV…I can’t watch that show, won’t watch that show, refuse to watch that show, and preferrably will never see those two fucking morons on TV again. If FOX was smart, they would hire Garth and Lukey the Czech to host that show…now that would be entertaining…
Comment by LG — December 11, 2006 @ 11:17 pm
Somebody mentioned in a thread on RAWK that this turd-bubble apparently hangs out in the Fox and Hound in Hollywood…. so if some scouser were to show him the appropriate response… well, I’d be more than alright with that.
Comment by Scott — December 12, 2006 @ 1:29 am
Scott, do you mean “Coach and Horses” (along with “Cat and Fiddle”, and “Pig and Whistle” (don’t ask)), which are in Hollywood? Or “Fox and Hound” which is in the Valley? This is important!
Comment by bwunderlick — December 12, 2006 @ 4:09 pm
Easy, lads. I assume you’re merely interested in a healthy debate over a few pints, but still…
Comment by garth — December 12, 2006 @ 5:00 pm
“his days are numbered because one day Fox will realize that America doesn?t need ?experts by accent? lecturing us about a game we grew up on.”
I’ve been saying for a long time now that Cohen, Geber and Nick Webster are an example of the danger FSC is playing with when it hires people for no other reason than they have an English accent.
Comment by sleeperbloke — December 12, 2006 @ 5:56 pm
I saw this coming. Only for the fact that the show has serious format problems and no clear direction. This leaves the two talking heads with too much idle time to adlib.
Comment by Lex — December 12, 2006 @ 6:33 pm
cohen just read a 20-30 second apology off the teleprompter, at the start of tonight’s show, looks like FSC management got to him.
Comment by matt — December 12, 2006 @ 9:05 pm
Freedom of Speech? Oh thats right we live in America! That freedom of speech thing is a myth! I watched the show where he mentioned these things and Steven who isnt my favorite person in the world made it clear that he did not blame Liverpool for these incidents just that Liverpool was involved in them. It just shows that Fox like most networks these days are spineless these days. What a joke! O&A Party Rock!
Comment by Mizzle187 — December 13, 2006 @ 10:58 pm
you guys should back off of Steven ! Everyone knows that he is very passinate about the sport of football. And he should be intitil to his opinion. And he did not read his “apology off the teleprompter” he apologized the day he came on his radio. And he never blamed Liverpool for Heysel and Hillsbourough. Just so you know Steven and Nick are very well imformed when it comes to football. In reference to the person saying that Americans should be hosting the show, thats very ignorant. The world doesnt revolve around America. This is as dumb as having two Britsh people talking about Baseball. In conclusion if you dont like them listen to the 2 G’s and have fun sleeping in the process.
Comment by Brad Henry — December 14, 2006 @ 7:41 pm
Steven and Nick are well informed when it comes to football news. Being informed about football is a different matter.
Steven IS entitled to his opinion. And when his opinion places Liverpool and Hillsborough together in a disparaging manner, we are entitled to call him a twat.
And lastly, your Brit-baseball analogy is crap.
Here’s a more accurate one: would two Croatians hosting a Croatian basketball program seem odd to you? Would you demand American hosts for that show?
Comment by garth — December 14, 2006 @ 8:24 pm
I listened to Nick and Steven’s Podcast (yes, I know, I know) and heard his initial apology on his first radio show back – and like his one on the FFF (or FFPh), it was Giambi-esque. He apologized for NOTHING.
And truthfully, I love it. He basically said “if you were offended, I am sorry.” Not sorry about what he said – but sorry about THE OFFENDED PARTY being offended. Semantic goodness abound! He didn’t cave in – I can admire that. Sure, he’s still a raving douche, but a stubborn one.
I do like Nick, though, although I wish he’d not be such a pushover – but it’s more Steven is a bully – Nick’s just trying to do a TV show.
All in all, give me the damn show. I read enough soccer web sites to carry two hours and not offend millions of fans everywhere. AND I’m American, damnit.
Comment by David — December 14, 2006 @ 9:11 pm
I think Garth hit it on the head when he said that those two twats know football news but they don’t actually know shit about the game. Fuck the accent bullshit, I two can have a fake English accent, does that make me an expert on soccer??…think not my fruends. Furthermore, they are extremely annoying to look at and I doubt either one of them ever took the field in a competitive match after the age of 8.
Brad Henry – you’re confused. If you’re suggesting that Americans think the world revolves around America because Americans would like informed Americans to host a soccer show then you’re as confused as the two dildos hosting the show.
Comment by LG — December 14, 2006 @ 9:42 pm
You guys have made good points but until you can find Americans who are willing to host a football show and are well informed, You are stuck with Nick and Steven. But i dont want you to get random americans to host the show just because you dont want to English people to do it. You guys should be gratefull to Nick and Steven for being bold enough to host a football show in a country where only a minority of its citizens follow it. I’m at a point where I dont care who brings football to Canada and the US as long as they are well informed, passinate, and entertaing to a point regardless of where they are from. All that matters is that they LOVE football. S & N has been great for football in its infancy satge in the States, but maybe you’re right and change is needed. But we including you will always be enternaly great for what they have for us.
Comment by Brad Henry — December 14, 2006 @ 10:42 pm
I’ll grant that. Props to them for having the balls to tackle a radio show and FFF in the US.
Comment by garth — December 14, 2006 @ 11:54 pm
I’m kind of ashamed to say that I saw both the original incident AND the apology. I find FFF kind of endearing, especially some of the phone calls, like when 14-year-old kids call in to say that the U.S. should hire Sir Alex as their coach. Yes, Steven’s comments were meant to wind up the fat bloke and were in very bad taste, but probably are not worthy of death threats. I thought the apology was heartfelt and genuine. And yes we have to take what we can get. Oh, and at least FFF have been very critical of U.S. soccer and the MLS, despite the obvious connections between Fox Soccer Channel.
Comment by Spectator — December 15, 2006 @ 12:25 am
I used to listen to them on their Sirius show or via podcast almost every day. Once I listened for a few months, it just sort of wore me down. I think they can be fairly amusing, but it just got to be a story of hearing the same old thing every day. I got bored with it.
That said, Steven has talked about the Liverpool thing consistently on their show. He’s had heated exchanges with both Nick and their callers about it. It came up at least once a week, and he would say things that were much worse than what he said on TV. Naturally, since it IS television, he had to deal with the network people, and I’m glad they apparently smacked him for it. I think he knows he’s wrong, he just likes to wind Liverpool fans up.
Second, Nick isn’t a pushover. He just doesn’t care. That’s a huge difference. Steven would argue with a fence post if he thought it felt differently about something than him. Nick just won’t bother arguing because he’s about 10 times more secure about what he thinks than Steven is. Steven has to annoy you into seeing that he’s right. Nick just knows he is.
Comment by zilla — December 15, 2006 @ 1:49 pm