West Ham Shocker

September 5 – 2006

The signing of Tevez and Mascherano by West Ham is the most shocking transfer in memory. As a Hammer supporter, I can say the news was met with rapturous glee, involuntary fist pumping and, finally, an extended period of “How the f*ck did that happen?”
How the f*ck indeed.

West Ham carry with them a debt of around $40m, but their combined assets put them around $50m into the black. Despite this positive valuation, the East End club are in no position to bring in two Argentinean World Cup stars by traditional means. In other words, West Ham did not represent the highest bidder in the race to sign Tevez and Mascherano. So how then, pray tell, did the Hammers get them?

The answer likely relies on a bit of back-story, and the details are more than a little sketchy. Last year, a group called Media Sports Investment (MSI) invested heavily in Corinthians, a debt-ridden Brazilian club. Soon after acquiring the club, MSI signed Carlitos Tevez from Boca Juniors for an undisclosed sum: the deal itself is thought to have formed the central core of the acquisition of Corinthians by MSI, sort of a players plus cash in exchange for ownership kind of thing. Tevez had a fantastic year at Corinthians and an outstanding World Cup, but the relationship between MSI and Corinthians soured in the meantime. MSI now wants out, and they intend to take their balls with them.

The linchpin in all of this is that MSI has repeatedly shown an interest in purchasing West Ham United. A central figure at MSI, an Iranian named Kia Joorabchian, has declared his intent to takeover at the Boleyn. He is currently holding “exploratory talks” with the club, and this is where the conjecture begins: fans, journalists, and Fifa execs are scrambling to determine the precise nature of the relationship between Joorabchian, MSI, and Tevez/Mascherano. The opinions are all over the board, but there’s one common thread linking them together: paranoia. For a sample, check out the panic attack commencing over at Sportolysis. They assert MSI is actually a front for Roman Abramovich, and the takeover of West Ham is aimed at creating a feeder club for Chelsea. How quickly they forget: West Ham is already a feeder club for Chelsea. Just ask Frank Lampard, Joe Cole, Glen Johnson, etc.

Abramovich might be evil incarnate, but he ain’t stupid; I sincerely doubt he is involved beyond an agreement for first refusal if the pair become available. The West Ham deal for Tevez/Mascherano will likely prove to be of the same nature as the original MSI-Corinthians deal: if West Ham is sold to Jaroobchian/MSI/whomever, the Argentineans will be treated as assets on the side of MSI, and their value will be discounted from the total offer. If no terms are agreed, the pair will move to the highest bidder (Chelsea) next summer, and the Hammers will continue on their way. Russian villains need not apply.

But that doesn’t mean the whole thing is on the up-and-up. The notion that players can be owned, transferred, and manipulated by independent investment houses is disturbing. The transfer market is already detached from reality, and adding middle-men to the mix can only make matters worse. When those middle-men then attempt to use players to back their way into the boardroom, the situation gets doubly sticky. Am I happy Tevez and Mascherano will be in Claret and Blue next weekend? Thrilled, but I fear for the future of a club that has been built on the foundation of developing young talent and playing attractive football with the players they can muster. Jaroobchian has said to the media, “West Ham can be bigger than Chelsea.” I suspect I’m not alone when I say, no thankski.

And on a lighter note…
Did you happen to catch the highlights from the Hungary-Norway qualifier? If not, here’s a clip from everyone’s favorite Canadian sports show recorded in a Manitoba basement:

Obviously, Hungary are beyond awful, but what interests me is goalkeeper Gabor Kiraly’s choice in pants. At first I thought the heather gray Champion fleece-sweats were making a statement. But then, after seeing some of the goals Gabor let in, I realized that the pants were nothing more than entirely appropriate. When you’re that bad, what else do you wear? Apparently, it’s become a habit:

Jackass.