Relegators…Mount Up!

As the second half of the MLS year gets underway, the battle for the championship is heating up. Twelve teams sit within striking distance of the MLS Cup, and it’s anyone’s guess who will win the title. Sure, DC United top their division with a Chelsea-like lead, but with help from a truly asinine play-off system, Real Salt Lake could just as easily take home the silverware. Not since the heyday of the Soviet auto industry has parity been so high and competition been so low.

That twelve teams play from April to October in order to qualify for an eight team tournament is absurd. The teams who don’t qualify will simply take an early vacation, returning the next spring to prepare for another 6 months of barely meaningful activity. Remaining teams will brave severe weather for a chance to play in the hallowed grounds of something called Pizza Hut Park. Bring on the confetti cannons.
Is their not, for the love of Stalin, another way?

Of course there is, but it just happens to be the third-rail in American Soccer. Mention the big “R” and you will literally see league executives and owners freak out. Middle-aged men in poorly tailored suits and embroidered polos begin to fall apart before your eyes. Caught in the headlights between the possibility of losing their money and the prospect of doing what’s right for American soccer, they will fall back on the mantra of MLS: “Remember what happened to the NASL.”

How a league that featured the Jacksonville Tea Men came to be regarded as a deliverer of cosmic truths is beyond me. What began as an argument for a salary cap has become an excuse to run a single-entity ownership system that Mao tse Dong would be proud of. Paralyzed by the potential for financial loss, MLS props up failing teams and holds back potentially successful ones. Yes, teams are now being sold to individual owners, but player acquisitions, trades, and transfers abroad continue to be managed like a Ho Chi Minh City bread-line. How can there be real success if failure is never really an option?

Enter relegation, the norm for every country on the planet that runs a successful domestic league (including all the ones who routinely man-handle us in international competition). The MLS could instantly solve their relevance problems by adopting a system of relegation. What does relegation accomplish? It makes every single game important. Teams at the top of the table are fighting for a championship, while teams at the bottom of the table are fighting to stay in the league. As excitement swells at both ends, so too does interest. American soccer fans (whom, the league is realizing, mostly avoid MLS) will flock to a system they recognize as the world standard. Attendance at all levels will rise, and teams will become more thoughtful stewards of young talent.

And what are the risks? League owners, harbingers of wealth beyond most people’s wildest dreams, will lose money if their team goes down. Get relegated and you may go bankrupt; fail and you stand to lose a bunch of cash. Welcome to America.

Many fear the risks associated with relegation will chase away potential investors and usher in the collapse of the league. But competition doesn’t just attract fans, it attracts owners willing to gamble large sums of money on success. 60% of Premiership teams expect to lose money this season, indicating the competition has attracted owners willing to spend their fortunes in pursuit of trophies. Risk could still be managed with a salary cap and sharing of television profits, but the ultimate standard would be whether or not a team wins.

MLS, instead of relying on owner’s competitive spirit and willingness to accept risk, depend on benefactors of the game interested in “promoting soccer in America.” The result? Excellent professional players meet twice weekly, in front of few fans, in order to meander their way through another season. Last. First. Green jacket. Red jacket. Who gives a shit?

So, what if relegation were in place today?
DC United look to be cruising to a well deserved title. They are the league’s premier franchise and would avoid the indignity of entering a knock-out round to prove it.

The real excitement, though, is at the bottom of the table. No less than 7 teams are adrift at the bottom, with two others dangerously close to being dragged into the fight to stay up. Even last year’s champs, hurt by poor board-room management and uninspired play from Landon Donovan, would be in real danger of dropping into the USL.

And who looks to be coming up? There’s a real possibility MLS would get the Canadian franchise they so crave. Montreal top the USL First Division table, chased closely by the perenially healthy franchises from Vancouver, Charleston, and Rochester. Promotion to MLS has long been a dream for these clubs, and now they just need the opportunity.

A final thought.
MLS features quality players that deserve a quality competition. If the league continues to hedge its bets and over-manage its risks, fans will continue to stay away. This weekend, I sat among 92,000 soccer fans in a packed LA Coliseum. This country is obsessed with soccer, and it’s ready to support a real league rather than a recreational exhibition.

Remember: when the league was formed, shootouts resolved ties and the clock ran down from 90; moronic ideas that came from the same decision makers we have today. Enough with the tampering, gentlemen. Give us the league the fans and these players deserve. Only then will I glue myself to a Galaxy/Crew match; it’d be a six-pointer, after all.