The Monthly Mailbag
I can’t believe you added those photos of our good american soccer boys to your dirty dirty dirty website. You should be ashamed of yourself. Next time let’s keep the focus on the football and not the “homophobic” photos.
Sean G. from Reno, NV
I think the word you’re looking for, Sean, is “homoerotic”. In no way are we at Soccernista homophobic; we love those pictures and think every American soccer fan should see them (or see them again, here). There’s no need to fear Landon Donovan drinking water in a sexy manner, or The Beaz cold chillin’ with the chain. And certainly we have nothing to fear from McBride arching his stretch-pant clad torso. No one need fear this group. Just ask Ghana.
You basically claim Ronaldinho would be the reason or one of the reasons Brazil won’t “raise the cup”, but I think you’re overlooking Carlos Parreira…he wouldn’t let Brazil play their game. You were quick to place Arena on the chopping block, why not Brazil’s coach?
David L. from Los Angeles, CA
I agree that Parreira deserves the final helping of blame stew. The idea, however, that all Brazil needed was a license from their coach to play beautiful, attacking soccer, is absurd. Even the Brazilian media are jumping on it, saying that Parreira’s approach was too “pragmatic.” Does anyone think Brazil were enacting a tactical plan when they hung back against Ghana and relied on counter-attacks? Not a chance! They were unable to keep possession and were pinned into their own end by a talented Ghana side. The notion that Brazil could have beaten France if Parreira had simply said, “Joga Bonito, my fine friends!” is a load of crap. Brazil went out for a lot of reasons, none of which could have been solved by allowing the players more freedom to “play their game.”
The first black pope needs to swing by the Vatican for some help. He has been disappointing.
JD from Chicago, IL
First off, I agree Eddie was a big disappointment. The real meat of your email, however, is the “black pope” issue. You’ve got something there. I see t-shirts with Eddie wearing a pope hat. Goal celebrations where Eddie blesses the goal scorer. MTV cribs episodes where Eddie shows off the Pope-mobile, glass bubble and all. This thing has legs.
Who actually makes the picks for Man vs. Machine? Is Lukey the Czech a real person? Will he be on the site after the world cup?
Eric S. from Eugene, OR
Yes, Lukey the Czech is a real person who subsists primarily on Pilsner, various Polish meats, and high-end cigars. He has, though, been doing some unreal things. At the time of writing, his picks had earned over $200 (based on $10 mythical wagers). We have gotten a number of Lukey inquiries, most suggesting that he is cheating in his competition with the Playstation. The methodology, however, is foolproof: Lukey emails me his picks, I simulate the game on a PS2, and then we calculate payouts using sportsbook.com lines…it’s all kosher. Lukey the Czech will continue to give his picks for the MLS game of the week, and he’ll be releasing a Fantasy Premier League Preview in August. As long as he keeps us in winners, we’ll keep him in Urquell, kielbasa, and Partagas.
That PK was one of the worst calls i’ve ever seen and the pk is ridiculously, disproportionately punitive. I’ve always hated ghana and now i have a reason.
Robert S.
I agree, the penalty on Gooch was absurd: possibly a foul but in no way meriting a pk. Which brings us to the “proportionality” issue of spot-kicks. You make a good point, Robert from nowhere, that penalties can seem like cruel and unusual punishment. A possible solution might be to allow referees to award indirect kicks in the box for infractions that would otherwise be direct, but don’t necessarily deserve a shot on goal from 12 yards out. The Gooch situation is perfect. Sure, it might be a foul, but did the foul prevent a clear chance at goal? Give Ghana an indirect inside the box, and reserve the pk for fouls that prevent goal scoring chances. The first one is free, Sepp Blatter.
And our email of the month:
All within the space of 10 minutes, Balboa called David Beckham, “Michael Beckham,” and then referred to a Paul Robinson stop as a “reactionary save.” This guy sucks. I googled him, and got this:
Stick to your day-job, pony-tail.
Zack from New York, NY
Zack, you made my week. Any words I have would just spoil the beauty of your post.
Thanks to all who wrote, and keep ‘em coming.