I can’t believe you added those photos of our good american soccer boys to your dirty dirty dirty website. You should be ashamed of yourself. Next time let’s keep the focus on the football and not the “homophobic” photos.
Sean G. from Reno, NV
I think the word you’re looking for, Sean, is “homoerotic”. In no way are we at Soccernista homophobic; we love those pictures and think every American soccer fan should see them (or see them again, here). There’s no need to fear Landon Donovan drinking water in a sexy manner, or The Beaz cold chillin’ with the chain. And certainly we have nothing to fear from McBride arching his stretch-pant clad torso. No one need fear this group. Just ask Ghana.
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The Manure Ball
Given to the worst player in the 2006 World Cup.
And the award goes to: Eddie Lewis of the United States, who looked like he had won a Federation fan raffle for a place on the team. Within the first 10 minutes of the Czech game, Eddie realized he was in way over his head. He then proceeded to do an excellent impression of a terrified forest animal for the remainder of the Cup.
Honorable Mention: Heldar Postiga of Portugal.
The Steve Sampson Award
Given to the Worst Coach in the 2006 World Cup
And the award goes to: Sven Goran Eriksson of England.
With his midfield-by-committee approach, Sven led the most talented England team ever into a cesspool of boring performances. The apparently star-struck Swede seemed unwilling to assign roles, make wholesale changes, or bench underperforming stars. Come to think of it, he could manage Brazil next.
Honorable Mention: Carlos Parreira of Brazil.
The Where Have You Been All My Life Award
Given to the player who best made a name for himself during the 2006 World Cup.
And the award goes to: Stephen Appiah of Ghana. Currently plying his trade in Turkey, Appiah distinguished himself as a powerful force in the midfield. Though he played well throughout the tournament, he showed even better once out of suspended Michael Essien’s shadow. Look for Appiah to make a big money move in the near future.
Honorable Mention: Franck Riberry of France.
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In the newest Nike advertising campaign, Eric Cantona chides players for being “cheats and liars”, recommends we hold on to our childlike innocence, and asks that “honor” (hard “h”) be put back in the game. All this from a man who once flew into the stands at Crystal Palace and delivered a kung-fu kick to an opposing fan’s chest.
But that is only the second most ridiculous thing Nike expects us to take seriously. The first? That Brazil will win the World Cup.
And it’s not just Nike. ABC and the ESPN networks deliver daily Brazil-worship orgies, the best of which featured Rob Stone standing in a field of daisies professing his “love” of Brazil. I kid you not.
While this type of overexposure might do nothing more than cause eyes to roll, genuine fans of Brazil should be genuinely concerned about their team’s performance thus far. Based on their displays, I for one have no problem going out on the following very short limb: Brazil will not lift the World Cup in 2006. Saying that in polite company is akin to kicking a dog. But this is a dog I’ll kick willingly, and here are 5 reasons why:
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